The CORPORATE Culture ... - Measures, Metrics and Results

After a long interval of almost 3 years, Have been reading and reading my own Blog to motivate myself and realise that I CAN ALSO STILL WRITE.. :P

Well well.. Since past months and years, Have been trying to Write a lot many things but I have decided finally that this will really get Published rather than going into Drafts :) So wish yourself All the Best if you are going to read this folks..

The title itself reveals the topic, The Corporate culture where every single thing is measured by Metrics, Percentage, Revenue and Resources. Every resource including Human is measured with Utilization benchmarks set in a particular System far away from Humanity. Here are few hidden meanings of the Corporate Keywords :

• As a Fresher, when you are entering into any Organization, full of Enthusiasm. Your plans and dreams are to change the Organization UPSIDE DOWN... :) And you are asked about your Preferable role/profile in which you would like to Work. -- Now, this is the time when you are becoming 'bakra' for that Role. (rest is self explanatory for ppl who are already in corporate culture).
• Next, many times you are told that This is a BIG opportunity for you. -- This simply is because nobody else is ready to do that task.
• You can do it, come on. You are capable enough. -- Simply the work needs to be done as per their expectations and no one is going to help you.
• This is a very good Learning opportunity for you. -- Simply, you have to do that task from next time onwards.. 
• Hey, You are the Best to resolve such problems yaar. -- Every time for any/every problem, You are the one who will be called up to resolve and to blame upon it.

In corporate, It is more important to SHOW the Work rather than DOING the work. People will notice if you are spending a day or two in office showing off the work rather than completing your work in time and leaving. The metrics, graphs and figures speaks more than your actual work. Every damn thing doe by you has to be MEASURABLE.

A Human resource is Under utilised if 20-25 mails are not sent by him/her in a day for No reason and he/she is leaving on time. While A Human resource is Over utilised if more mails are sent (No matter what it contains) and they are roaming around after office hours spending the time sipping coffees and taking breaks. When Management has no choice, you are asked to perform more than your capabilities by giving Opportunities. And once you have performed well, you are asked to perform even better because others are not capable to perform in that profile and there Excuses are taken as Concerns. :P

Boss, You have no right to raise any concerns because you are Super Power. You are the Hero who is capable enough to complete all tasks on your own and setting example for others. And Thats why You keep on Setting examples everyday and night... :)

And the main punch comes at the time of results and Work Life Balance theory, You have created your dependency by not giving work to others and so you are Over utilised and your Work Life Balance is not proper. :) So true it is !!!!!  Actually you know what, Fault is yours. Why cant you involve others in your work, Teach them, give them a chance. (Yes and when they will ruin it, I am the one to rework and solve it and to take the blame... )

“Resources are hired to give results, not reasons.”

So at the end, You are not able to deliver the results and the goals which are given to you. If you are too good, it doesn't work If you are too bad, it doesn't work. So you have to be Moderate, Have to learn :

• Not to HELP others (juniors), who are part of your team. And if you are HELPING them you have to make sure they realise that How big favour you are doing to them by scolding and then helping :(
• Not to give favour to your colleagues who are your very good friends outside the office so that You are not questioned for Helping others out which is not part of your Work.
• To be quiet when any Injustice is happening to your team just to save your profile and upcoming promotion opportunities.
• To increase useless workload on Juniors just to prove that you have worked a lot in Past and what they are doing is NOTHING.
• To stop giving New and creative ideas because you have to be aligned...
• And many more GOOD things..

Which makes you a 'Perfect Corporate Professional'.

“The company may have captured their minds, their bodies and their pockets, but that doesn’t mean it’s captured their hearts.” -- Stan Slap